Whoever first used that well-worn excuse had a dog like Sam.  Sam is a lovable, goofy, three-year-old golden retriever.  He’s been in our home for a year-and-a-half now.  In that time, Sam has completely obliterated a remote control, an outdoor lantern, two Boston ferns – and their pots, a row of outdoor plants, numerous papers, two pairs of my shoes, several CDs, and my debit card.  He has made an attempt on the life of another remote and just about every cat toy in the house.  Sam has never met a piece of plastic that he did think needed chewing, and if it has been in our hands at some point, all the better.

Sam feeds his plastic fetish when we are not home.  Because of that, weather permitting, Sam gets to stay outside when we are gone.  The backyard is not devoid of plastic.  Beside the lantern and Boston ferns, Sam has shredded numerous empty potted plant containers, tarps, and plastic bottles.  When he runs out of plastic items to kill, he embarks on his “dig to China” project.  He has several good tunnels started.  If a plant is in his way, too bad.  Dogs dig.  I understand that.  Digging in dry dirt isn’t too bad, but digging in muddy soil?  Let’s just say that we’re trying to figure out how to install an auto-doggy-wash at the back door.

Sam’s shenanigans don’t stop there.  I work at home, which to him means that I am available to play with him when he is awake.  If I fail to provide him with enough attention, he shifts into retriever mode and starts bringing me anything he can find laying around; socks, shoes, dirty laundry, cat toys, trash, books… if he can grab it with his teeth, he’ll bring it to me.  The object of this game is to get me to play tug-of-war with each of these items.  It’s like, “Look what I brought you!  Now see if you can take it from me.”

Sam is a funny guy.  We’d had him a few days before we ever heard him bark or growl.  Sam doesn’t bark at people or other animals like most dogs do.  Sam only barks when we have resisted too many requests to play.  He does growl a lot.  The first time I heard him do that, it startled me… until I saw that he had a stuffed toy in his mouth.  Growling with a toy in his mouth is Sam’s way of saying, “hey, you wanna play, or what?”  So when we are greeted by a growling 100lb mass of dog flesh, we take it for what it is – an invitation to play.

I took Sam to the vet this morning.  He’s so friendly that he doesn’t even mind going to the vet.  But he’s there this morning to get groomed and get some of his shots updated.  I have the morning without him -- a golden opportunity to sit down and get some uninterrupted work done.  So what did I do?  I wrote about the dog… right after I ordered a part for our new stereo receiver that Sam chewed up last night.